Would You Rather? - Jazzy P

THIS IS HEIDELBERG VERSION NOT ME PERSONALITY ANSWERING THEM
WE ARE NOT MAKING FUN OF POOR PEOPLE, WE ARE JUST DOING IT FOR FUN

1. 1. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Be 4’5”?
3. ✓ Be 7’7”?   - the taller the better, you can find more food                                   
    

Duh! Guess what? You’re now in the NBA! Or maybe you’re just a person who’s really good at picking apples off of trees

1. 2. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Have legs as long as your fingers?
3. ✓ Have fingers as long as your legs? - you can grab more food at once              

✓ X You want fingers as long as your legs!

Duh! You will now win EVERY fight

1. 3. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Be able to run at 100 miles per hour? - you will be able to run away from the cops
3. ✓ Or fly at 10 miles per hour?

✓ X You want to fly!

Come on, now. You always have to choose flying. Running is for squares, anyway.

1. 4. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Sweat mayo? - it would be cool because you will have food on u
3. ✓ Or have to poop a softball?

✓ X Gotta go with the softball.

One and done!

1. 5. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Talk like Jar Jar Binks? (You are not allowed to kill yourself.)- scare the cops                                   
3. ✓ Or look like Jar Jar Binks? (You are not allowed to kill yourself.)

✓ X Definitely talk like Jar Jar Binks!

Just never speak, ever. Except for when you start a massively popular reggae ban

1. 6. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Have a dragon? - have a dragon so I can look rich
3. ✓ Or be a dragon?

✓ X Have a dragon!

Come on, life would be so lonely if you were the only dragon. You need some dragon companions if you’re gonna be a dragon.

1. 7. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Be sexually attracted to fruit?
3. ✓ Or have Cheetos dust permanently stuck on your fingers? - you can lick ur fingers so your never hungry

✓ X Trick question. Cheetos dust is actually a perk.

Everybody wins with a little Cheetos dust on their fingers. Also, let’s be honest: Fruit is kinda gross.

1. 8. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Never have to worry about money? - that would so COOL.                                     
3. ✓ Or live in a world with Pokemon?

✓ X Pokemon, obviously!

How are you going to pretend like this hasn’t always been your dream? Plot twist: You can only speak in Celine Dion lyrics. Sorry!

1. 9. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Be the BEST racquetball player in the world?
3. ✓ Or find $65 on the street? -omg, that would be so cool. of course I would choose that                                     

✓ X Take the money!

Guess what? You can now buy a decent clock radio!

1. 10. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Speak any language fluently?
3. ✓ Or be able to talk to animals? - so they can steel me food

Guess what, chump? HUMANS ARE ANIMALS! LOOOOOPHOLE!

1. 11. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Not have sex with a goat, and have everyone think you had sex with a goat?
3. ✓ Or have sex with a goat, but no one will ever find out? - have sex with anyone I can                                      

✓ X Either way you’re a goatfucker, goatfucker.

And maybe you’ll enjoy it? Hey, as long as everyone’s havin’ a good time.

1. 12. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Only be able to whisper?
3. ✓ Or only be able to shout? shout so I can RULE Heidelberg                                      

✓ X Whisper!

No one should yell. Ever.

1. 13. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Eat a pinecone? - when I can eat I will eat
3. ✓ Or poop a pinecone?

✓ X Eat!

I’ve never eaten a pinecone, have you? Could be delicious!

1. 14. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Change gender every time you sneeze?
3. ✓ Or not be able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby? I could eat it so......yeah

✓ X Muffins

You just say “No, thanks, I’m trying to cut back,” any time you’re presented with eit

1. 15. Would you rather...
2. ✓ Watch your parents have sex every day of your life?
3. ✓ Or join in once to stop it? JOIN IN BABY

BJ YOUR ANSWERING THIS NEXT